drainSuddenly I feel drained. I visited my Mum yesterday morning for coffee at the OAP home. As soon as I got home and sat in my chair I fell asleep, only to wake up 5 hours later. Okay it was a good long nap, but what inflicted it was beyond me. I sleep well during the night.

Later that evening I didn’t like the distractions on TV so I went to bed early, before 11! Okay I finished the last 40 pages of the book I was reading, but way before midnight the lights were out.

This morning I woke up at 5.30 went out of bed, had something to eat and went back to bed (again). Just to wake up a little before 11. I watched some telly, drank two large cups of coffee, and now I feel like going to bed again and it’s just past 1.30.

I know visiting Mum is taking a strain on me. I never saw her crying so much while wondering what she’s doing in this “hotel” in which she only has spend 2 days. (In the mean time she been here 10 days).  Does her worrying drain me too?

Private & Personal

being-googledIt’s been a long time since I wrote something about my personal life. Sometimes many times I had the feeling nothing happened, while in the background loads happened.

I’m still doing well, I still lose weight, I had only one heart attack in all these months, on the early morning we would drive back from Basel to Amsterdam (June 1). But with the help of a pill, working for 3 hours on the computer to keep my mind occupied with what I was doing instead of listening to my running heart rhythm. Later I snoozed all the way home in the car.

Lately my Mum (almost 94) has suffered more from her Alzheimer, and my Dad (almost 91) who’s helped her these past 5 years can’t cope with it anymore. Luckely with the help of a dementia specialist we could find a place where she can live and get all the care she needs. Of course for Dad, it was not an easy decision, the words “for better and worse…” has been playing in his head. Of course just as before one of us visit her every day, so Dad doesn’t have to do that and can do the things he wants to do, like playing golf or going shopping. Before all this he had to keep in mind the time, if she felt well or all that other stuff life is throwing at you.

Oops, I Did It Again…

christmas-lights13I just deleted a post I started writing, my second this week and my third or fourth in almost 7 years blogging. When you reread your just written post it can look totally different from what you wanted to say, then it’s time to trash it.

At 6.45 in the morning, while nuns sang Christmas songs in the hallway, I was born in a Deaconesses hospital across the street from where my parents lived.

Here I am on the threshold of my 58th birthday, the start of my 59th year on this watery globe.

bedanktAgain a lot has happened these past 12 months, time flies when you’re having fun, but also on the days when life is a bitch.

I would like to thank my family, friends on and offline, specialists and their staff, colleagues and friends at the Guild and Pink Noord, and all the others I’ve met over these past 12 months. I would like to thank you for your support, advice or kick in the butt [sometimes I needed that.]

Hey… Over Here!

pssstYes, I’m still around, it’s just that I haven’t much to talk about. I’m doing fine, but could lose some extra weight, which I’m working on. Mum and Dad are doing fine, with their usual ups and downs, but that’s what you get when you’re in your 90’s. And the rest of the family is doing fine too, or they’re not telling me, afraid I’ll share it with the rest of the world.

Things to do today, a funeral, not family related, and reading a book. In other news… Autumn has really started, the temps have dropped considerably, and it’s raining most of the time, which keeps me indoors.

Now I need a sandwich, and a cuppa to start the day. Hope you have good start of your day too.

Happy Birthday, Dad !

Birthday CakeI know you’re not in the mood with all that has happened these last few days, but it’s still your 90th birthday today.

In one of her clear moments last night at the ER department Mum said she didn’t get you a present, but she forgot she gave you one money can’t buy… LOVE for over 62 years.

Hope she returns home later today when the doctors have found what’s ailing her now.

See you later today, and I LOVE  you too. You’re both great parents.

Party Weekend…

life-is-a-partyIt started all on Saturday morning 11 AM, coffee verkeerd with a baked ham/cheese sandwich at Noordermarkt, with longtime friend/neighbor Corrie. The last time we did this was about a year ago. The baked sandwich tasted like the finest patissery. Afterwards we did some shopping on Lindengracht market before heading home.

Around 5 PM I left my home to pick up Mario, another neighbor, to go to a combined 95th birthday bash of PN friends. I planned on staying not the whole evening, but it was so beregezellig*, we left as some of the last ones. During that party we met old friends and made new ones. I even met a commenter/reader of this blog, it’s a small world.

This morning I just went to see my parents, they celebrate their 61st wedding day today, just coffee and vlaai was served. My Mum originates from the south of the country and my Dad from here, in Amsterdam.

Later this afternoon I’m going to visit a friend who’s turning 50 today, I’ve known him for 25 years, on and off. We only see each other once or twice a year, while we don’t live that far from each other, but that’s life too.

*Gezellig is one of the Dutch words you can’t translate in English or any other language, cosy is close but not really the right word. Gezellig is a feeling.



Hospital_signThis morning my Mum was released from hospital. All in all she stayed there a week, and some of the infections are gone and others are better than before.

She dressed herself just before breakfast, but then still had to wait over 3 hours before the release was final. Of course she didn’t like it when they needed another heart film. Turned out they needed that one for her release.

Her own cardiologist is on vacation, so another one took over, my cardio specialist. He told me he figured out who was connected to whom after his departmental tour on Sunday. And also that my heart problems are not genetic. [Always good to know.]