Tippin' the Scales


Oops, I Did It Again…

christmas-lights13I just deleted a post I started writing, my second this week and my third or fourth in almost 7 years blogging. When you reread your just written post it can look totally different from what you wanted to say, then it’s time to trash it.

At 6.45 in the morning, while nuns sang Christmas songs in the hallway, I was born in a Deaconesses hospital across the street from where my parents lived.

Here I am on the threshold of my 58th birthday, the start of my 59th year on this watery globe.

bedanktAgain a lot has happened these past 12 months, time flies when you’re having fun, but also on the days when life is a bitch.

I would like to thank my family, friends on and offline, specialists and their staff, colleagues and friends at the Guild and Pink Noord, and all the others I’ve met over these past 12 months. I would like to thank you for your support, advice or kick in the butt [sometimes I needed that.]


Hey… Over Here!

pssstYes, I’m still around, it’s just that I haven’t much to talk about. I’m doing fine, but could lose some extra weight, which I’m working on. Mum and Dad are doing fine, with their usual ups and downs, but that’s what you get when you’re in your 90’s. And the rest of the family is doing fine too, or they’re not telling me, afraid I’ll share it with the rest of the world.

Things to do today, a funeral, not family related, and reading a book. In other news… Autumn has really started, the temps have dropped considerably, and it’s raining most of the time, which keeps me indoors.

Now I need a sandwich, and a cuppa to start the day. Hope you have good start of your day too.


Happy Birthday, Dad !

Birthday CakeI know you’re not in the mood with all that has happened these last few days, but it’s still your 90th birthday today.

In one of her clear moments last night at the ER department Mum said she didn’t get you a present, but she forgot she gave you one money can’t buy… LOVE for over 62 years.

Hope she returns home later today when the doctors have found what’s ailing her now.

See you later today, and I LOVE  you too. You’re both great parents.

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Party Weekend…

life-is-a-partyIt started all on Saturday morning 11 AM, coffee verkeerd with a baked ham/cheese sandwich at Noordermarkt, with longtime friend/neighbor Corrie. The last time we did this was about a year ago. The baked sandwich tasted like the finest patissery. Afterwards we did some shopping on Lindengracht market before heading home.

Around 5 PM I left my home to pick up Mario, another neighbor, to go to a combined 95th birthday bash of PN friends. I planned on staying not the whole evening, but it was so beregezellig*, we left as some of the last ones. During that party we met old friends and made new ones. I even met a commenter/reader of this blog, it’s a small world.

This morning I just went to see my parents, they celebrate their 61st wedding day today, just coffee and vlaai was served. My Mum originates from the south of the country and my Dad from here, in Amsterdam.

Later this afternoon I’m going to visit a friend who’s turning 50 today, I’ve known him for 25 years, on and off. We only see each other once or twice a year, while we don’t live that far from each other, but that’s life too.

*Gezellig is one of the Dutch words you can’t translate in English or any other language, cosy is close but not really the right word. Gezellig is a feeling.




Hospital_signThis morning my Mum was released from hospital. All in all she stayed there a week, and some of the infections are gone and others are better than before.

She dressed herself just before breakfast, but then still had to wait over 3 hours before the release was final. Of course she didn’t like it when they needed another heart film. Turned out they needed that one for her release.

Her own cardiologist is on vacation, so another one took over, my cardio specialist. He told me he figured out who was connected to whom after his departmental tour on Sunday. And also that my heart problems are not genetic. [Always good to know.]


Mixing Things Up

mix-things-upI’ve seen my Mum twice now in the hospital, I take the evening visiting shift, and talked with her about what’s going on. She’s doing remarkable well for a lady of her age [93], but in the mean time she’s mixing events up in her head. First she said “There you are, have you closed up the shop?” [I did, almost twelve years ago!]

When I asked what she had for dinner she couldn’t remember, but she did remember she had dinner downstairs in the restaurant with my Dad. [All of that happened last year between September and November, in a nursing home, when my Dad broke his hip bone]. Then suddenly she knows what day it is, an article in the paper she read or just a non important titbit, the mind has mysterious ways to shuffle the memories around. One thing she knows all too well, she writes down what is going on around her, and has done so for the last 15+ years. So when you tell her something of years gone by she remarks “You’ve read that in my little black book!” Which has for each year a different color, except black.


I Just Saw Her…

Medical SignSaturday the mother of a friend passed away after a long sickbed. Yesterday I stayed with my Mum while my Dad visited a friend for her birthday. Part of the time my Mum slept, but around four she walked in, sat in her chair and said “It’s time for tea and a cookie or two, three…”, which we had. I left around six when my Dad came home.

This morning just after nine the phone rang, which I couldn’t pick up because I was still in the shower, then my cell went off… I knew something was up so I rang back. Turned out Mum couldn’t get enough oxygen before she went to bed at 10 the night before, so my Dad called an emergency doctor who, after seeing the patient, called an ambulance.

I can see her in a few hours at the hospital, and hope to hear what’s going on. Big Sis stopped her travel with a friend short and is with my Dad at home now. Lil’ Sis is travelling with her family somewhere through Laos and/or Viet Nam. She will get a call when the end is near and all hope has gone, not before. And my little brother… he’ll find out when he comes over this weekend for a scheduled visit.

Yesterday my Mum told me she had a good life but it was enough. She said “I sleep more than I’m awake, why can’t the Lord let me sleep all the time…”. I couldn’t answer her.


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