Lots of people have a problem with portion control. I was absolutely one of them. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. Halved is a set of dinnerware that comes with half a plate, mug, and bowl, presumably so you can manage your portions a little better. That’s clever, but let’s be real: half a meal is also half the fun.
Cartoon by: Gerrit de Jager for Nu.nl
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
‘Jesus knows you’re here.’
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard
‘Jesus is watching you.’
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.
‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’
The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’
‘Moses,’ replied the bird.
‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’
‘The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’
So behave and visit my other four-legged and two-legged friends like when they’re home on the Internet.
Ms Truvy, the Tramp and their human Sean @ Just A Jeep Guy,
Lucy, Sable and Rick @ It’s a Ruff Ruff World,
Sadie Mae and Ray @ Ray’s Cowboy [NSFW] and
Cubs + Buddy Bear @ One Step At A Time [NSFW] to see how they are doing and join in all the doggy fun.
Thanks to Pam for sending me thise joke.