Daily Archives: December 14, 2014


I haven’t slept in a week, or it feels like that.  So tonight, just after midnight, I drank a whole bottle of red wine, Valpoliciella just to get some rest in my head and to sleepp. Tell you more of it later…

two hours have been gone… and I’m still, or again, wide awake. Sleep is still not upon me and i don’t know what is keeping me up and awake. Maybe i shouldn’t think about it, but somewhere in the back of my mind ik creeps back.

Mum has been gone now almost 6 weeks, i’ve been writing half of the thank-you notes, Big Sis did the other half.

Also i promissed my domestic help to clear my bedroom of all the bags with papers. They moved back to the livingroom, where they were stored till early this morning. The rest of this week i cleared my bedroom of all the junk that was stored there. Twelve years of being a webmaster for the Guild. I threw it all away, discs with photos, paperwork nobody was interested in… In a way i’ve got more space. Only the boxes under the bed have to be sorted, but that can wait till an other time.

The cupboards have been reorganised, summer clothing on one side, regular clothing on the other side. Blankets on the top shelves, cushions on a lower one. on Saturday morning i attacked the bags in the livingroom.  As i said before, 12 years of my life ended up in trash bags… in all ten trashbags ended up in the underground containers, but also five regular bags with assorted junk.

Clearing the house is one thing, clearing my mind is another, or is it the alcohol speaking?! I’ve made some mistakes, these past few weeks/months/years who knows, turning people away I liked very much, by saying i liked my lifestyle being alone, while i needed a hug or more in the mean time. Being a Capricorn isn’t easy, being human neither.